Differences between the U.K and Japan

Regarding babies, of course. 

1. The baby clothes! 

As you can only just see in these pictures, Finn was put into a yukata-like onesie, which had an inner vest attached to it. Since then, I've been using clothes I bought in the U.K, which are all over-the-head onesies (かぶりもの), but I also received a lot of these other kinds of clothes from friends and family. I must admit, they are so much easier to take off and put on, but they're a little fiddley because you have to tie strings in three different places for most of them. 

2. Formula against breastmilk

So I'm not stating any facts here, but from what I have gathered so far, there doesn't seem to be much of a stigma against formula here at all. In fact, while in hospital, the midwives took Finn overnight and fed him formula without explaining to me that they were going to do it. I was angry, but because I had been worrying about where he was for so long, I was overcome with relief. 

I assume that there was a misunderstanding, or possibly, it is very normal for midwives to take the baby off your hands and feed them freely.

Most women in my hospital used formula. I never see women breastfeed in public (though they could be very discreet). Everyone tells me how many women opt for formula over breastmilk. It would seem that everyone has accepted that formula has won over breastmilk. 

In the U.K, I think that many women give up on breastfeeding and use formula. I don't have any illusions about the amount of people in the U.K who use formula instead of breastmilk, but I feel that formula is not as accepted in the U.K as it is in Japan. People encourage breastfeeding, we all talk about how formula is just not as good as breastmilk, and despite the figures, midwives don't go straight for the formula when the baby is born. 

Maybe the issue is that midwives in Japan don't want to have the conversation about formula vs breastmilk. That, to me, sounds more plausible than people legitimately thinking that formula is better for the baby. 

3. Baby carriers 

I am guilty of using my baby carrier very early in Finn's life. Many people have a problem with baby carriers. There are articles all over the internet stating that baby carriers will deform your child's legs, or spine, or... something. 

I'm not going to defend my use of the carrier right now because I hardly use it (and it's my choice regardless). I just want to point out how often people in Japan use baby carriers, and how casual people are with taking very young babies out and about with them. I've seen babies sweating profusely in baby wraps, and babies hanging from carriers like limp noodles, and I must say it worried me at first... but that is carrier life I suppose. 

They are very useful on the subway and walking around in the city. They must also be useful in the countryside; hills and rocky terrain isn't quite suited for a baby stroller. Also I heard a story from my dad about propaganda during the war. Soldiers were told that Japanese pilots had bad balance because they were constantly carried as babies. Obviously it's a silly thing to say, but is it a good observation of a popular child rearing technique in Japan? Dunno. 

4. Sleeping 

There are a few things I found different regarding sleep. First of all: the baby futon. 

I love the baby futon! It's easy to deal with Finn when I am lying close to him. Obviously, when he is older, there will be problems with the futon, but for now it is great. 

With the baby futon idea, it seems that many people are perfectly happy co-sleeping. I'm not as comfortable with the idea, so I make sure my futon is separate to his, but many people tell me they sleep with their child for years and years! 

As long as you are careful, I guess it's ok. I find myself bringing Finn next to me and having him feed while in my futon, but I am too scared to fall asleep with him there. Still, in Japan, it seems more accepted than in the U.K. 

5. Staying with mum for a month 

I stayed with Kengo's mum and dad for two weeks. This is not typical in Japan. Usually, the mother stays with her own mum for a month. Kengo's parents were kind enough to offer me a room for a month, but me being me, I reduced that to two weeks.

I loved it there! They helped me so much, fed me, washed all the clothes, and gave me a lot of advice. I wish we had this kind of culture in the U.K, but it's not practical. Mothers tend not to work in Japan, and are therefore free to spend their time on taking care of their daughters. I can't see it working very well in our society.

But it's not like we don't help at all! I'd say the first month of a baby's life is governed by a certain cultural and natural feeling that differs between countries. In Japan, maybe this feeling is more group oriented, whereas in the U.K, it's more of a personal experience. 

6. Going outside

People are much warier of taking their child outside. I see pictures of week old babies out in the town in the U.K, but in Japan, they'd still be sat in a hospital room with no knowledge of the outside world! 

I understand this. I feel this. But ultimately I think it's important for the baby to go outside. Actually, I feel very stuck in the middle of these two opinions. Taking Finn out in Middlesbrough sounds much easier than taking him out in Nagoya, which is maybe why so many of my friends are apprehensive about taking their young babies outside too. 

Usually, women spend the first 4 weeks at their parent's house or in the hospital. It's a given that they won't go outside, unless they make the effort to do so. 

I wouldn't blame mothers for being scared of the subway or bus system, either. It's well known that some people get angry at mothers with pushchairs, and some even push the strollers out of the carriage! I have seen such behavior before, and often hear the train conductor ask people to respect women with strollers. I do not understand why anyone could be so intolerant, but they are, and it's a fact. 

I'm yet to experience life as a mother in the U.K, so maybe I'll encounter the same thing there. For the sake of my faith in humanity, I hope not. 

RATHER PERSONAL PICTURE COMING UP! Slight boob showage, so if you don't like that crap, don't bother looking. Alternatively, get over it, because this is what boobs are made for.

7. Skin to skin 

Hardly any boob in this picture! But you see how strongly I have to warn you? I have a feeling that showing some boob in Japan isn't gonna go down well. I haven't done it yet, but we will see... 

Skin to skin doesn't seem to be a thing? I don't know. Maybe it is and I haven't been told anything about it, but it definitely isn't as reinforced as in the U.K. 

This could be something that isn't mentioned aloud often, but people practice anyway. As I write this, I have a feeling that many Japanese women probably do skin to skin but don't go on about it as much as is brits, ha! 

On this topic, public breastfeeding must be, from what I can see, a bit of a no no? I will find out soon enough I suppose. 

This picture. Is. Amazing. 

I really wanted to share it, and there's no better place than the blog! 

#baby #pregnancy #japan #britain #theUK #breastfeeding #childrearing #onemonthold